Episode 9

No matter where the wind blows, it doesn't really matter to me.

I like this phrase so much. I've been thinking. Life is full of surprises. We can't never predict what's waiting in front. We had a plan... but, at the end of it, the result couldn't be like what we want it to be. Somehow, the best is not what we want. But, what we had through along the journey. What we've got, what we've gained, what we've learned... and what has changed inside us. That's what we call... the experience. The best teacher in the world.


We may have our family together with us. We may have friends alongside. We may have lover who will always give us strength. But, still... at the end, when we die, we will face the death alone. And, if we had good experiences in our life, i believe there's nothing to be regretted while we're dying. Cuz, that experiences that we've collected are so precious to be remembered. If we living our life with happiness, we may die happily, with a smile.


"Who knows what could happen? Do what you do and keep on laughing, one thing is true, there's always a brand new day." I like this phrase to. I took it from Avril's song. It's really good. It makes me feel so positive about life. And i hold onto it till now. That's how i through my days. I try to laugh, or even find a reason to laugh for at least if i die that day... i did have a good laughter. People wont see me dying in agony. That's not what i want.


I go with the flow. I tend to try my best, do my best, and give my best in anything im doing. Especially when i like that thing so much. I'll never give up for a small reason. I will not give up until i have given all i have. By doing that, i leave no regret. For doing things wholeheartedly... And i believe, by doing that... i could at least leave a good and nice memory to the people around me. That is to my family, to my friends, and to the person i love. Even though i wasn't loved by him. But hey, like i said... i do my best, so i can leave without regret.


I trust Allah... He is the only reason i'm still breathing until now. And, everything that He has given to me... I wish i could take a very good care of it before He take it back and give it to other people. And, that's the only way for me to show my thanks to Him. He always with me, in the time of happiness, sadness, hardness, and even sickness... He has never leave me alone. And that's why... all i can do for Him is to be faithful and thankful. Till my last breath.


Love and friendship... i've experienced those. And i think, i've given my best for it. So... when it passed, i am not regretting anything. My memory about them, it always last inside my head, inside my heart. Some had leaving scars... but most of it, are the pictures of their happiness. My friends and my family's happiness. That's what make me through the day with ease...

I really hope that i can through this journey till the end. With my own reliable strong heart, and strength... And teach the people around me to live their life... without a waste. That's what i really want to do, in my life. Before i really die. For real. :)

Episode 8

Im a hunter, and i hunt. While hunting, i'll focus, i'll observe, I'll think. The road is still far ahead. The journey is on the run.

When im walking with my friends i realised that im always in front and alone. When im looking back, all my friends has been far left behind. I thought i'm the one whose walking too fast. So i'll stop walking, let them passed me and i start walk again from behind. But at the end, i will be at the front again. Leaving all my friends behind like always.I dont know why they're walking so slow. But they talked a lot about many things. The things that i've always missed. Because im always at the front. But sometimes, my friends will walk too fast and i cant follow their speed. And i will be left behind. Alone. And that's who i am. A loner.

Maybe i am that type of person. The one whose always walking alone and dont be bothered by people. I dont know how people looked at me. what they think of me. But seeing me walking alone has never catched their interest to ask me whether i need a companion or not. To be true, I sometimes feel isolated when i walked alone. Because I want to talk with someone and I'm just too tired of being all alone. But sometimes, I dont even bother because I can find a place to think back and reflect myself during the walk. And i don't really talk much when im walking. I prefer to keep quiet and listen to what people say. I think maybe that's why they dont like to walk with me. And that't also why they dont care whether i have a companion or not.

It is irritating when i can't be normal like other people. I am odd and I am different. No matter how hard i try to be at the same level with them, I just cant and I'll always be something that's so odd. But, to think back. Maybe i was born to be an extraordinary person. And maybe i just have to be extraordinary because that's who i meant to be.