The Journey of a Butterfly

Episode 13

2010-06-21T00:48:00.008+08:00

Holding to the thoughts that one day you’ll be mine forever,

I keep this space in my heart only for you.

I believe that you are my destiny,

I can’t imagine how my life would become,

Without you around.

Holding to the thoughts that your heart belongs to me,

I am stronger everyday, to finish what I’ve started,

To always love you and live with your love,

I will wait for that day to come,

Where we tie this sacred feelings under His bless,

May our love last until heaven.

Holding to the thoughts that we were meant for each other,

I will never stop loving you… even someday I might get tired with the strain,

I wont give up, as looking at you when you sleep so soundlessly...

Has given me the most peaceful night after all my bad dreams..

You are a gift from God, how couldn’t I cherish you with all my heart?

Holding to the thoughts that you are the only one that really makes me happy,

I have this faith on you, where I can’t have it on others,

And what we have now might not be forever,

I will still remember the way you make me laugh and smile,

Are the best among the rest.

Holding to the thoughts that I have you in my life,

I can be myself as you are the one who really accept me the way I am,

So I will do the same, not to compromise…

It’s just the fact that there’s nothing about you that I want to change,

Because you fit me perfectly, and I just feel so lost when you are too far from me.

Holding to the thoughts that I missed you already,

Even though you are sitting right next to me,

I am hating myself when sometimes I think you might someday leave,

Because the fact is just that I cant hate you,

No matter what you do..

And there’s another fact about me for you to know,

I coudnt be better without you…

Holding to the thoughts that we will only have one chance…

To have a person that we love to love us back,

I choose to stick with this thoughts, until my last breath.

No matter how painful my vein, to strive in this love…

For you I will… dear FAZREN…

LOVE YOU...

Episode 12

2010-04-20T19:57:00.005+08:00

be smarties :)

TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE and THINK SMART are hard lessons...

it is an important education for life, and it is not as easy as its seems.

We tend to talk a lot, we tend to listen less and we tend to not to think smart at all because most of the thing that we are thinking about are mostly lead to entertainment. We love entertainment... and entertainments are drugs.

I think, most of us dont know what to do when it comes to this kind of things. We can say anything but we always do nothing. If living is all about talking, life will be so much more easier. Nowadays, i've been thinking about this. For me, i don't really like to talk much unless i know what im talking about. Just sometimes to runaway from the word "nerdy".. i sometimes talk some nonsense just to have fun and all those nonsense has a secret message... the message will be noticed by those who use their mind... to think about what's between the line.

Probably, this is the result of being the president of the peers society in my school when i was 17. Those days were all the most precious moments in my life where i've got the "TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE and THINK SMART" education. I do agree... it was a hard lesson. Not everyone will finally understand the meaning of it and how to do those 3 tasks at one time. It needs a lot of practice and years of learning from mistakes. Fall again and again before finally can do it accurately 98.9% perfect... and yet, i still have the probability of doing mistakes.

It was not easy to talk less... because i liked to talk. And it was not easy to listen more... because most of the time i talked. And it was not easy to think smart when i'm the only one who's talking... that's the worst part... at the end, it resulted to emotional destruction and fighting between me and my friends and people around us. Bad job, done perfectly... but to control everything in a proportionate stability is the hardest to achieve. And, the only key to achieve it is by learning from mistakes... of course it takes time... a lot of times... because to learn from mistakes, u must have to experience the mistakes first..

too bad that most of people are afraid to do mistakes. once u take things negatively, the results will be negative. i understand that we have to be cautious but in this world, there's always bad things and good things that will happen to us. if we already do our best not to do mistakes, but we still do it... maybe we are fated to make the mistake so we can learn something from it...

so who says mistakes only cause trouble? it is not... if u are willing to learn something from it. and for sure... the lessons are the best. It is hard... but it is worth.

there's good thing lies within the bad thing... u just need to open your eyes to it! so... talk less, listen more and think smart... that's the best education and once u achived it... life feels easy. BE S.M.A.R.T.I.E.S :)

Episode 11

2010-03-24T19:51:00.008+08:00

Who I was... who am i now? I am different. Always. I am nothing like others and others are nothing like me. Its not that im trying to be proud of who i am. But it's the truth. No one can be the same as anyone, because, that's the individuality of a person itself.

I am not an achiever, nor a fighter. That's who i was. Now, i'm a peace lover, cool and deeply a relax person. Something that happened to me, the force and pressure that i've had felt... those are the things that changed me to be who i am now. It is weird. Ive never know that im gonna be this kind of person. And ive never think that im gonna like this new person of me. But hey... people change.

When i think back, the only thing that's originally and genuinely myself is the way i bring myself into people. It is by loving them. My heart is so content that i always expect the least and i give all i have to others. That's always who i am. From the beginning of my life... and insyaAllah until i die. I have so much love to give... not just to human, but to animals... to the trees... and even to the non-living. I wish i can always love others without expecting them to love me back. Because love in my eyes... it is nothing that i can have.. it is always what i can give.

True love... i followed Him, the Almighty Allah... He loves His servant without expecting anything. He gives everything to His servant, for their needs... And His generousity... I cant say anything but Alhamdulillah... He gives too many to us, until we get blinded by all the things that we have... and sometimes until we forgot to say thank you to Him.. but that is who we are. Human that's always so forgetful...

I hope... until the day that I die... I can always love people. No matter how hard it is, i am trying with all my guts to love people. Because i only believe... only love can change people to be better. That's the sacred truth about love. If we understand what love really is... and use it for good. There will be no war, no harm, no sadness. And hatred, it's actually the result of lack of love... not the opposite of the love.

Episode 10

2010-02-06T17:11:00.004+08:00

Goodbye Architecture, Hello animation!~

One week, hey... im in the new world!

Its all just so sudden. Im in a very different world now. Totally different than what i've through before. Hey... Seriously, this new experience are refreshing. Im feeling good, but anxious. Sometimes worried but i know everything will be just fine. Sometimes i feel like shit sometimes i feel im doing good. And... now i feel like im in the right track, i just need some more confidence. Life can be so cool when we do what we want to do the most. Life can be so different when we suddenly make a new start where people are least expect it. Life are full of suprises and its only waiting to be discovered. There are so many treasures around us, we just need to find it with our heart... and now im doing good i hope someday i'll doing great. Hey... the pieces of the puzzle are now making sense. Bit by bit... now i can see the picture. But i still have to wait. Cuz there's still have more to create. And thank you to everyone who supports me now and then. Please stay by my side. Together we will change the world. :)

Episode 9

2010-01-20T03:11:00.009+08:00

No matter where the wind blows, it doesn't really matter to me.

I like this phrase so much. I've been thinking. Life is full of surprises. We can't never predict what's waiting in front. We had a plan... but, at the end of it, the result couldn't be like what we want it to be. Somehow, the best is not what we want. But, what we had through along the journey. What we've got, what we've gained, what we've learned... and what has changed inside us. That's what we call... the experience. The best teacher in the world.

We may have our family together with us. We may have friends alongside. We may have lover who will always give us strength. But, still... at the end, when we die, we will face the death alone. And, if we had good experiences in our life, i believe there's nothing to be regretted while we're dying. Cuz, that experiences that we've collected are so precious to be remembered. If we living our life with happiness, we may die happily, with a smile.

"Who knows what could happen? Do what you do and keep on laughing, one thing is true, there's always a brand new day." I like this phrase to. I took it from Avril's song. It's really good. It makes me feel so positive about life. And i hold onto it till now. That's how i through my days. I try to laugh, or even find a reason to laugh for at least if i die that day... i did have a good laughter. People wont see me dying in agony. That's not what i want.

I go with the flow. I tend to try my best, do my best, and give my best in anything im doing. Especially when i like that thing so much. I'll never give up for a small reason. I will not give up until i have given all i have. By doing that, i leave no regret. For doing things wholeheartedly... And i believe, by doing that... i could at least leave a good and nice memory to the people around me. That is to my family, to my friends, and to the person i love. Even though i wasn't loved by him. But hey, like i said... i do my best, so i can leave without regret.

I trust Allah... He is the only reason i'm still breathing until now. And, everything that He has given to me... I wish i could take a very good care of it before He take it back and give it to other people. And, that's the only way for me to show my thanks to Him. He always with me, in the time of happiness, sadness, hardness, and even sickness... He has never leave me alone. And that's why... all i can do for Him is to be faithful and thankful. Till my last breath.

Love and friendship... i've experienced those. And i think, i've given my best for it. So... when it passed, i am not regretting anything. My memory about them, it always last inside my head, inside my heart. Some had leaving scars... but most of it, are the pictures of their happiness. My friends and my family's happiness. That's what make me through the day with ease...

I really hope that i can through this journey till the end. With my own reliable strong heart, and strength... And teach the people around me to live their life... without a waste. That's what i really want to do, in my life. Before i really die. For real. :)

Episode 8

2009-09-19T07:06:00.008+08:00

Im a hunter, and i hunt. While hunting, i'll focus, i'll observe, I'll think. The road is still far ahead. The journey is on the run.

When im walking with my friends i realised that im always in front and alone. When im looking back, all my friends has been far left behind. I thought i'm the one whose walking too fast. So i'll stop walking, let them passed me and i start walk again from behind. But at the end, i will be at the front again. Leaving all my friends behind like always.I dont know why they're walking so slow. But they talked a lot about many things. The things that i've always missed. Because im always at the front. But sometimes, my friends will walk too fast and i cant follow their speed. And i will be left behind. Alone. And that's who i am. A loner.

Maybe i am that type of person. The one whose always walking alone and dont be bothered by people. I dont know how people looked at me. what they think of me. But seeing me walking alone has never catched their interest to ask me whether i need a companion or not. To be true, I sometimes feel isolated when i walked alone. Because I want to talk with someone and I'm just too tired of being all alone. But sometimes, I dont even bother because I can find a place to think back and reflect myself during the walk. And i don't really talk much when im walking. I prefer to keep quiet and listen to what people say. I think maybe that's why they dont like to walk with me. And that't also why they dont care whether i have a companion or not.

It is irritating when i can't be normal like other people. I am odd and I am different. No matter how hard i try to be at the same level with them, I just cant and I'll always be something that's so odd. But, to think back. Maybe i was born to be an extraordinary person. And maybe i just have to be extraordinary because that's who i meant to be.

episode 7

2009-09-19T06:49:00.005+08:00

A GREAT PAINTING SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

i agree... and that kind of thing is the thing that only a legend can do. I wish and I hope to be one of the legend. But i'm still on the beginning of my journey. In my architecture school, i always try to find a way to be inside the anomalies. Because i think if im being different, they will notice. But... it's very hard because amazingly, all of us are never be the same. All of us are different and that makes none of us special. No sparks, no x-factor. And that's why architecture has becoming one of the challenging business in my way of life. Especially when it comes to collegue and other stuff.

episode 6

2009-07-23T05:12:00.004+08:00

Hate antibiotics~

haha... actually, it's not the antibiotics that i hate, it's just the punctuality that i have to follow according to the prescription which has been given by the doc. That's why my flu always come back. Because i did not follow the rules. I eat antibiotics like.. 'whatever'... haha. I don't really care about the consequences of not following the punctuality.

I am so carefree and don't care about anything especially about my own health. It's just that i don't really want to be tied by the rules and i am trying hard to be quite a dicipline person. If the prescription said eat the antibiotics 3 times a day each after eating meal, I will like eat it 3 times a day without even care whether i've eaten any meal or not. Sometimes, I will eat the antibiotics when i remember to eat it!

Haha... funny huh? it's just that i am that kind of person. There's nothing i care about except being free and laidback all the time... well, maybe not all the time. Sometimes, i am just so serious especially during my work!~

episode 5

2009-07-18T04:27:00.006+08:00

Well, i've through a week of 'architorture'!

Honestly, it wasn't really torturing. It was fun and i enjoyed every single thing in learning about architecture... like my lecturer MR. KMR said, "Architecture is the way of life..." And i am so agree with that. What he means when he said that? As far as i understand, he tried to say that architecture consists of communications and interactions between humans, living things, and the non living things. Architecture is the world. It is its own world... It took every details on the surroundings just to create a place for everyone. That's amazed me. And i'm proud to be part of it. Even though this is just the beginning of my future... i will make sure i will not give up. This is my dream. I'll try to make the people who loves me proud and i will be satisfied if i can do that~

p/s : i've won 2nd place for the sketching competition. Tribute to that picture!~

episode 4

2009-07-12T18:08:00.006+08:00

well... life sometimes feels like hell.

when the pressure are all over you, and you just dont know what to do... life feels like hell.i do this and i do that. and suddenly the one that i think i have now has already left.what will you do if r in my place?

life sometimes feels like hell...when suddenly u r all alone and u have nowhere to go. u think what u r now will be forever.but it is now has come to its end. life feels like hell... what can you do?

and i came acrossed the fire. but now i have to face another danger. this danger cause everything and i have to face it all again and again. and i keep on thinking i can do this alone. and i am alone. and i am alone. but i still have strength... eventhough life feels like hell!

Episode 3

2009-06-08T23:42:00.004+08:00

now... IT'S about Lil bro...

this guy... his name is Faris... a.k.a Mumu's bestfriend... also my lil bro. haha...

I dont have much to say about him becuz i spent quite less time with him compared to Mumu. But... i prefer to say that i always had so much fun when he's around. He is funny... DAMN FUNNY... and he will make anyone around him happy because he is so easygoing and bring so much happiness with him. He is generous, and he loves his big bro so much... (MUMU)

Anyway, he treats me like a big sis... so i treat him like a lil bro. He sometimes acted like a kid.. I still remember how he sulked when i get mad with him. But still... he's a grown man. haha... He loves his girlfriend, but he likes to not show it off. Still... all of us know about it! Love u big guy~ :P

Episode 2

2009-05-11T05:20:00.009+08:00

Talk about SWEET AND SOUR... SKIES AND EARTH... HOT AND COLD. Its a contrast... but it compliments each other. Just how me and my dearest friend be...

This person. His name is Mumu. I gave that name to him. I met him in the first semester of my foundation. He is also different than any other friend that i used to have. He tought me about fashion. The last thing that i will think about. FRANKLY SAID, I HAVE NEVER CARE ABOUT FASHION... AND IM SO NOT INTO FASHION! But this petite guy... with all his fashion statements and stuffs bumped into my life and we became such a good friend! I always don't want to know about fashion but he was so excited to teach me everything that he knows. I usually don't really listened to him but i tried my best to listen so he won't get offended. And he actually knew about what i'm doing when he talked about his favorite topic. But he just dont give a damn. Fashion is his life. And i realised that he will be so happy if i tried to at least listen than not listening at all.

I figured out about what he really need. He just need someone to listen. He just need someone to share his passion and someone to understand him. Well... that's what i tried to do. But after time, he also who don't really like to talk about boys (because he is a boy and not a gay) have to listen to me when i talk about it. And that's how we both becoming besties. I realised that... talking with him is like taking a long trip on a train. The journey is far... but i have never been bored with the thing that we talked about. There's always new things to share. It is full with laughter and if the conversation started with tears, it will always end up with smiles and jokes. And also the laughters. I'm happy to have a friend like him. Mumu... my all time favourite chat partner. I always search for him when i want to talk with someone. And he always be there when i need him. Because of that... i also do the same for him. I want to make him happy like he makes me happy. Thank you for being there my dear friend. :)

Episode 1

2009-05-10T04:07:00.017+08:00

I've finished my foundation and i'm waiting for my examination results. My mom keeps telling me to search for the scholarships. Well... i'm not from the wealthy family anyway. So... i followed what she said. I started to think about survival. Well... when i was a kid, i dont really have to think about that. Eventhough i did tried to survive, but it's only for the sake of learning on how to grow up to be a good person. And now, it still on the same purpose but, the challenges will be much much bigger! And, for my own reminder... i'm just a girl. And what can a girl do for her future? It's quite a big question that i keep on asking again and again to myself. I sometimes doubt my own ability but to be real, who don't? Everyone have that doubts.

I just love to live, but it doesn't mean i don't want to die. So, i was born as a fighter... was i? am i a girl who will fight for her right, fight for the people that she loves, fight for her passions, fight to be the best of the best? Sometimes i think about that and i say to myself i will. But to be truth, saying you can is good, showing you can is better... and i will. I will show to myself that i can do it. i will push myself to the max. That's just me...and... now, just wait and see. Will i be the best fighter? the answer will only be known after I die. after my death, my successes will tell the answer. i promise this to myself. Not to others. BUT ONLY TO MYSELF!